Testimonial: "Hairdresser, I help couples to form"

By werdt15/04/2022574 Views

Carine Lopes, 59, has been running the hair salon in Grisy-Suisnes, a small village in Seine-et-Marne, for almost thirty years. Touched by the amorous loneliness that many of her clients confided to her, the idea came to her to "play the matchmaker" and to put single people in contact. She baptized her concept The show, the meeting differently because it is at the antipodes of Internet sites. It is also the title of his book published by Editions Michel Lafon.

"Six years ago, I discovered that my husband was cheating on me using dating sites. I left him, broken by his betrayal. Once the anger and the desire for revenge passed, I experienced the I need to repair myself by projecting myself into an optimistic future. Suffering and resentment are not like me! But what should I do that would do me good? The day I asked myself this question immediately came to my mind. spirit Elisabeth and Bernard, two clients of my hairdressing salon. Three years earlier, I had met these two single people wounded by life and, since then, they had been spinning the perfect love. Which made me very happy. In a flash , I understood that the path to my reconstruction was there: to help others find love.

“Give old-fashioned dating a chance”

In our countryside, affective loneliness has never been so glaring. Like many villages, Grisy-Suisnes has become a dormitory where people cross paths without ever really meeting. By striving to rebuild social ties, and more particularly romantic ones, I would necessarily be useful. Another certainty inhabited me: I wanted to take the opposite view of Internet dating sites that too often look like sex supermarkets. I wanted to help build great stories and protect the protagonists from bad experiences as much as possible. And above all, give a chance to "old-fashioned" meetings, those where you take the time to discover and seduce yourself in real life.

"Love does not change!"

Témoignage :

I also wanted to act completely on a voluntary basis. Love is not money! Not having the means to offer me a dedicated room, I would therefore receive my candidates for love in my hairdressing salon. That's why I called my project "The living room, the meeting differently". After creating a non-profit to do things right, I was ready to go. To publicize my initiative, I posted a page on social networks, informed the regional press and bet on word of mouth. Very quickly, the first interested people pushed my door… and it hasn't stopped since. In six years, I received more than three thousand, men and women, from 26 to 83 years old!

"They appreciate the hubbub of the living room"

When a candidate presents himself, I ask him to fill out a very simple form in order to tell me five qualities and five faults. Between two cuts or two brushings, I come to chat with each new subscriber, in an informal and relaxed way. The information I gather serves me above all to engage in conversation, to get them to talk about themselves and what they have been through so far. While some may initially be destabilized by the lack of privacy, ultimately they appreciate being immersed in the hubbub of the living room, hair dryers and telephone ringtones to evoke this loneliness that makes them suffer so much and from which they sometimes shame. Here, in this lively and good-natured atmosphere, they play down their status as lonely single people and do not feel stigmatized.

"In love, you have to explode the criteria"

Very often, at the end of this first discussion with a new candidate, I have the rather dazzling intuition of the person with whom I am going to put him in touch among my hundreds of subscribers. I who did three years of psychology studies in evening classes when I was young, I like to believe that it is my unconscious that speaks to me and directs me. I trust human abilities to decode other humans much more than algorithms. I am convinced that one can be very happy in love without absolutely looking for someone who shares exactly the same tastes, comes from the same background. Thus, in the very first couple that I formed, Elisabeth is a magistrate and Bernard a farmer. No algorithm would have brought them together. It is also for this reason that no file contains a photo: what could be more misleading and reductive than a frozen snapshot? Better to accept being surprised by a look, an attitude and a smile in real life. In love, you have to explode the criteria!

"Parties that reconnect with the tradition of the village ball"

To offer even more opportunities to my singles, I regularly organize festive events. Parties with DJ where we dance. A way to reconnect with the tradition of the village ball and its strong matrimonial potential. Even if they do not find true love at the bend of the dance floor, the participants draw a deep joy from it. For many, this is the first time in a long time that they have had the opportunity to go out, chat, sing, laugh, put their bodies in motion to the sound of music. I ask them for a contribution for the rental of the room and the rights to be paid to Sacem, but I get the prices as much as possible. I cook myself with the support of a small staff – couples who met thanks to me and want to help others in turn. To those who don't know how to show off, I offer the services of a stylist who gives them a makeover for a low price.

“I have the feeling of being misunderstood”

After passing eighty, I stopped counting the couples formed. To see these wounded souls regain confidence and hope in love, what a superb reward for me! One thing, however, makes me sad: the attitude of some inhabitants of my village. From the beginning, they have viewed my initiative with great suspicion, regulars have even deserted my shop. The gossip is going well and it's just if I'm not called Madame Claude... I don't take these gossips well because I love my village, I grew up there and my grandmother ran this hairdressing salon for more than twenty years before me. Fortunately, I benefit from a form of recognition on a larger scale, in particular thanks to a documentary which was shot on my concept and broadcast on TF1 (1). It earned me many new registrants, sometimes even from Paris.

"Even with the masks, there are still the eyes"

During the repeated confinements, the singles were particularly abused. More than ever, I am determined not to abandon them to their loneliness and to find solutions for them. In February, I imagined meetings in the only places open, supermarkets: the candidates recognized each other thanks to a shopping bag stamped with the logo "The show, the meeting differently". All they had to do was strike up a conversation when they passed each other on the shelves! In June, I offered them outdoor Olympics: team games, followed by a big picnic. Even with the masks, there are still the eyes, this beautiful skylight open to the soul...".

(1)"The Lady of Hearts", directed by Vincent Deby.